Editor’s note : The regular school football season is almost over. We’re thinking. But while the seasonal Bottom 10 contenders finish their campaign, the last Power 5 costs, such as Big 12, Big Ten and Pac-12] are charged.
Inspired reflection on week
They breathe new life into my broken heart in
Never forget who you areSmall starShows brighter than all the stars in the skyForget never to dreamButterflyFlies higher than all the birds in the skyForget never to dreamButterflyFlyFlies higher than all the birds in the sky
Never forget who you are
Never forget where you came from
— Little star, Madonna.
Here at the headquarters of The Bottom 10, which is behind a pile of Richie Rich’s money collected by a student of Coastal Carolina who invented these Mormon t-shirts against the mule, we never forget where we came from and who took us there in the first place.
Take the Carolina coastal region, which not so long ago was regularly and firmly included in these reviews. But last Saturday night I was in Conway, South Carolina, where I worked as a reporter for ESPNU’s Top 15 AR between Chanticleers and BYU Cougars. When I quoted one fact after another about Shoreline, our game producer jumped to my ear (no, not literally, through headphones) and asked me: How do you know so much about this team and this school!
I answered that I had been writing to the lower tens for seven years, so I had seen a lot of football in that stadium. You should know that. Don’t you read the top ten every week?
There’s been a break. Then, finally, he answered. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry, man.
I was thinking of an incredibly easy adventure with the Coastal team and other once poor but not very proud teams who lived full time in The Bottom 10 but somehow managed to get into the Top 25, like Bruce Wayne who escaped from that strange prison pit during Christian Bale Batman’s last bad movie. I yelled into the microphone: Stop bothering me with your insulting questions! Besides, I’ve got work to do on the side of the road!
Get ready for our game the sheep farmer demanded.
No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I had a flashback. I’m watching Bowling Green and Akron!
Besides, #Bottom10 never sleeps. I’m in #BYUvsCCU, but I was watching the Cooking Greens in Akron. pic.twitter.com/3ON3yBorwG
– Ryan McGee (@ESPNMcGee) 5. December 2020.
We apologize to Josh Norman, Dustin Johnson and Steve Harvey, the top ten this week.
1. ULM (expressed in ULM) (0-10)
There are still people who insist that the Warhawks don’t deserve to be in that upper, lower place. But the Warhawks themselves disagree. After losing in the penultimate game of the season, 48-15 in Arkansas, the school’s head coach Matt Viator, who, as I just noticed, has a surname that only seems timid.
2. Cooking green vegetables in Northern Illinois (0-5/0-5)
The first half of our two-week playoffs for MACtion Bottom 10 is dedicated to books, but only if the books are colored with missing pages and all other pages are covered with scribbles. Bowling Green lost to the defense of the last 10 Akron champions 31-3 in the pager. This brings us to this weekend when Northern Ill-ugh-oise will travel to meet the University of East Michigan Emus for the second consecutive conference game against the 0-and-nothing teams. But East Michigan had the guts to piss off West Michigan. My grandmother was right. Some people just can’t have good things.
3. UMess (0-4)
The Minutemans no longer have games on their calendar for 2020, but sources told The Bottom 10’s JortsCenter that UMass plans to spend its holiday in Storrs, be opposite Renchler and throw ketchup-filled snowballs at Randy Edsall’s office.
4. Kansas Nyhox (0-9)
The CU season would be over by now, but this weekend Jeyhawks will organize the game in Texas, starting from the 21st. The month of November has been postponed. Before the match, former USL head coach Les Miles, who has a long history, is expected to invite Tom Herman for a pancake breakfast from the support group of the cheerleader football coaches.
5. Destroyed ores (3-2)
We shouted when we thought the Ducks were a good enough team to take the Pac-12 seriously as a sleepy PCP, and Mario Cristobal was on the short list of people to call if Saban ever resigned. And when I say when, I mean two weeks ago, before they lost to Oregon and Cal.
Fault! The file name is not specified. Oh, no! This season Oregon leads 3-2 after two straight losses to Oregon and Cal. Steve Conner/Icon Sportswire
6. unLv (0-5)
After three weekends, with two races cancelled, Fightin’ Tarks threatened to disappear from the radar of the last 10. His quarterback then apologized for eating sushi from a naked model on a yacht in front of the television cameras recording for a cable reality show. Okay, now they’re back in the bottom 10. This is what we call leadership.
7. Sir, suspect Orange (1-10)
The good news is that quarterback Tommy DeVito has announced that he will be back in 2021. The bad news is that while he made his announcement, a random group of people pushed his offensive line and sent him away again.
8. FI(non-A)U (0-5-4-2)
When the Panthers were forced to cancel their next final of the season with Louisiana Tech, this set them the final record – 0 victories, 5 losses, 4 postponements and 2 cancellations. Technically, the delays are still ongoing, and we’ve noticed here at Bottom 10 headquarters that one of those PPDs is aimed at Charlotte. The 49 are in fact 2s and 4s, or more precisely 2s and 4s and 5s and 2s. Because we are still trying to determine the finals of the FIU Lower Ten, we want to reschedule their match with Charlotte for a later date. And yes, we see that Charlotte has to play Marshall this weekend, the game has been postponed from last month, but who are we kidding? This is Charlotte 2020. Marshall’s not coming. The herd didn’t come to Rice last weekend. Yeah, they played Rice, but they lost 20-0, so no, they never showed up.
9. Vanderbilt Conventional doors (0-8)
This weekend Wendy is hosting the weekly pillow fight in Dollywood, Tennessee. The winner of the game will receive the phone number of Coach Jamie Chadwell from South Carolina.
10. Until I arrived in Arizona (0-4)
But for this game comes a battle on the cushions of the State Grand Canyon, presented by Meteor Crater. The winner of this contest between 0-4 Arizona and 0-2 Arizona will receive the Territorial Cup, but this year the 121-year-old trophy will be filled with melted crayons and sketches.
Waiting list : Hardened Owls (1-6), Duke Bew Devils (2-8), Michigan (2-4), Ut Tah (1-5), Half Breed (2-6), No Brask (2-4), USA (not C)F (1-8), Battleships of Texas (2-10), a Big Ten team that is not OSU, IU, Northwest of Iowa, KOVID-19.
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